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You know what this state is really missing? Right: An official seasoning - and an official amphibian

Legislators could have their hands full this year considering eight bills designating new official Things of the Commonwealth. And, yes, Modern Lovers fans, one of those is a measure designating "Roadrunner" the official Rock Song of the Commonwealth -- you can't keep a good Modern Lover down.

Also in the works: Proposals for an official Seasoning of the Commonwealth, an official revolver, an official organic public park, an official amphibian, an official county song, an official sculptor and an official Tai Chi form. Details:

Official Rock Song of the Commonwealth. In an example of bipartisanship at its finest, state Sen. Robert Hedlund (R-Weymouth) and state Rep. David Linsky (D-Natick) are working faster miles an hour to honor former Rep. Marty Walsh's legacy by advocating for a bill to designate "Roadrunner" as the official Rock Song of the Commonwealth.

Official Seasoning of the Commonwealth: Rep. James Murphy of Weymouth proposes designating Bell's Seasoning the official Seasoning of the Commonwealth. After all, it was "created by William G. Bell, a Boston inventor in 1867 and manufactured in East Weymouth Massachusetts." Like the Roadrunner proposal, this, too, is a proposal that proved too spicy for the legislature last year.

Official Revolver of the Commonwealth: Rep. Kimberly Ferguson of Holden has filed a bill at constituent James Fournier's request to designate the Smith & Wesson .500 Magnum revolver the official Revolver of the Commonwealth. Ferguson does not cite a reason for this honor, although Smith & Wesson is based in Springfield. Fournier has been aiming for the honorific since at least 2011.

Official Organic Public Park of the Commonwealth: Nothing says "organic" quite like a park built on a deck above an interstate highway, which, of course, is why Rep. Aaron Michlewitz of the North End and Sen. Anthony Petruccelli of East Boston want to designate the Rose Kennedy Greenway as the official Organic Park of the Commonwealth, thank you very mulch.

Official Amphibian of the Commonwealth: You might be surprised to learn that a state that already has an official bird, an official horse, an official insect, an official fish, an official dog, an official marine mammal, an official game bird, an official groundhog and an official reptile doesn't have an official amphibian. Rep. Stephen DiNatale hopes to remedy that with a bill designating the spring peeper the official Amphibian of the Commonwealth. The legislature has been croaking his proposal since 2011, when he first filed peeper legislation on behalf of second-grade students at the Crocker School in Fitchburg.

Official County Song of the Commonwealth: You might wonder why, in a state in which counties have withered to vestigial geographic place names, we need an official ode to them. You'll have to take that up with Rep. Thomas Stanley of Waltham, who wants to make 14 Counties of Massachusetts the official County Song of the Commonwealth. The song was written by Darci Hamann, a teacher at Our Lady's Academy in Waltham. Hamman grew up in Maine singing a song about the 16 counties of Maine and seemed surprised when she moved here to learn Massachusetts was bereft of a similar ode to its counties, so she wrote one and taught it to her students, who then approached Stanley about officially recognizing the song.

Official Sculptor of the Commonwealth: Rep. Sean Garballey of Arlington thinks it's high time we make Cyrus Dallin our official Sculptor of the Commonwealth. After all, he not only lived and worked in Arlington, he sculpted the "Praying Indian" statute in front of the MFA and the Paul Revere statue in the North End.

Official Tai Chi Form of the Commonwealth Rep. Brian Ashe of Longmeadow says it's pretty obvious why we need such a designation. As his bill states: "Five Elements Tai Chi, which was developed and founded in the commonwealth by Grand Master Ping Chiu Woo, shall be the official Tai Chi form of the commonwealth and the Five Elements Tai Chi emblem shall be the official Tai Chi emblem of the commonwealth."

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Comments

Official Waste of Time of the Legislature: This crap.

Do I have a second?

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I love spring peepers and completely support making them the official state amphibian. And no, I won't get off your lawn, you grumpy old fart.

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the $7,000 it will cost per bill to file this legislation and bring it to a formal vote, even if none of these things actually becomes a law?

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...I'll buy you a pair of bandage shears to cut loose that knot in your knickers. Oughta improve the dialogue around here.

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I'm not being grumpy. I'm approaching this logically.

Not only do most of these things not need an "official" one (making this a total boondoogle to make anyone else even think about why a particular thing has to be recognized by the state), but even the ones proposed are just dumb suggestions. Let's run them down.

Official Rock Song of the Commonwealth: "Roadrunner" is a decent classic rock song. It's definitely a rock song about the Commonwealth...if the Commonwealth stops at 128...and not even all of 128, just the southern and western edges of it. Also, Richman wrote the song and said he didn't think it was worthy of consideration. Respect the man's wishes.

Official Seasoning of the Commonwealth: Sure, Bell's is from Boston, has roots in our heritage. But it's a commercial product. If you wanted to make "turkey seasoning" the official seasoning. Or "poultry blends" or something, then that's one thing. But to choose Bell's is akin to endorsement. That's just not appopriate. For example, "Old Bay" is not even the "official seasoning" of Maryland...and its name isn't even aggrandizement for the guy who made it!

Official Revolver of the Commonwealth: No, just no. The state doesn't need an official revolver. Arizona seems like the only other state with an official gun. We're better than that. There's zero justification for naming an official gun. Does it mean state officials can only carry it afterwards?

Official Organic Park of the Commonwealth: What does that even mean?

Official Amphibian of the Commonwealth: Spring peepers live in every state east of the Mississippi and parts of Canada. There's zero importance to them in Massachusetts specifically. You name official creatures because they represent your state. The Cod is our fish for a reason. Rhode Island has the quahog for its official shell for a reason. When West Virginia has an equivalent claim to your Official State anything, it's time to reevaluate.

Official County Song of the Commonwealth: This isn't a thing. There's no such thing as a "County Song". It's someone else's song with counties for lyrics. It's a mneumonic device for kids to learn county names. Great. But it's not an official anything.

Official Sculptor of the Commonwealth: Maybe he should be sculptor laureate or something. But having an official sculptor suggests that he is the go-to guy for all things scuplting by the state. He's not. He has some famous sculptures around town. When he dies, we'd still have an official sculptor who is not even sculpting anymore. He doesn't even have to die for that, he could just retire or start liking oil painting more. Just dumb.

Official Tai Chi Form of the Commonwealth: Again, what does that even mean, the official Tai Chi form? It's promotion of a specific product by a specific kung fu group with no relevance to the state other than one of the masters settled here instead of NYC or Philly like other members of his group. That master made this Tai Chi 30 years ago. It's only 30 years old! It could be entirely irrelevant tomorrow if the dojo closed or moved. Just no.

So, there you have it. You want to make an Official Grass and propose Juncus biflorus ( https://gobotany.newenglandwild.org/species/juncus/biflorus/ ). Great. You want to make Target the official discount store because why not? Stop wasting my time.

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I mean, it's not like designating Rex Trailer the Official Cowboy of the Commonwealth or something.

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Thanks. I didn't bother to look him up. Now that I have, he's from Utah. Yes, some of his best works are here in MA, but others are in Utah, PA, Chicago, and DC.

It's just not something relevant to have an official one of. It'd be like making Bernstein the official composer of the state. Like nobody will ever be able to top him or something.

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To quote Robert Preston, "Ah, no...YOU are wasting it!" This is definitely in the "don't like it? turn your head" category. Silly? Yes. Dumb? No doubt. Wasting your time? No. Shake it off. Move on. If you don't, YOU are wasting your time.

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Right. I totally am wasting it. I could have filed a billion official things based on what I see around me every day instead. The official state university should be Harvard (maybe they'll give us more money if we honor them). The official state cartoon should be the Simpsons (because, Springfield). The official state butterfly should be the monarch (because it's a belweather of Mexican deforestation and they're really pretty and seasonal!).

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No? Shake it off. Get on with your life. Stop making a big deal out of nothing.

Those, by the way, are suggestions. Feel free to pursue any alternatives that you prefer instead. Just remember that whatever you do is your choice; nobody's making you read this or get into a state about it.

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I assume the TLF will rally to defeat that one.

Does it work well with frog legs? (ducks)

Another famous Dallin sculpture sits on every LDS temple: The Archangel Moroni. This revelation horrified several people in Arlington to the point of demanding that the statue for the Belmont temple be removed when it was exhibited in the Dallin Museum prior to its installation.

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It is bad enough that the filthy human's avian apartheid state usurped our ancestral homeland and dedicated a holiday to the conquest, slaughter, and consumption of our brethren. To once again attempt to take the trespass further and declare an official seasoning for the genocidal gastronomic campaign against our rafter, barely year after the previous villainous attempt was valiantly thwarted, is unconscionable. Not only is the commonwealth sanctioning a campaign of cannibalistic carnage and oppression against our indigenous population; it is once again attempting to declare an official seasoning which blasphemously and insultingly features our noble likeness.

We will bog it down! From now until the end of time!

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Hint: Gobble, gobble.

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And that is WHY WE FIGHT!

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They're called the learning-disabled archangels now.

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So nice that our full time legislators have so much free time they can devote resources to this trivial crap. Oh, and when's the MBTA getting fixed? *CRICKETS*

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I cited eight bills. There are probably hundreds before the legislature. I suspect these ware not going to get a ton of time and effort.

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...hadda take a big stir of the shit vat, Adam. Seriously, what did you think would happen?

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There were almost 6,000 bills filed for this two-year legislative cycle.

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I like the ones proposed by school kids. I think it's a great way for them to grow up feeling ownership of their government. On the other hand, we would quickly run out of things to be official state whatever.

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*CRICKETS*

No, spring peepers. A lot of people make that mistake.

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Supper happy to see that the state of Massachusetts is again considering making "Roadrunner" by the Modern Lovers the State Rock Song--via a bill by state Senator Bob Hedlund and Representative David P. Linsky. But Rep. Tom Stanley, I don't really think “14 Counties of Massachusetts,” words and music by Alissa Coates and Darci Hamann, as recorded by the third and fourth grade classes at Our Lady’s Academy in Waltham has, um, achieved the fame/impact required to be the state's Official Country Song. (For example, can you even find a recording of it on the Internet?) And I don't support Rep. Sean Garballey's proposal to make the late Cyrus Dallin the Official Sculptor of Massachusetts. In part because Dallin is best remembered for his "Appeal to the Great Spirit" out front of Boston's Museum of Fine Arts, which looks ever more like a racial caricature.

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It's an official ode to counties, not a country song. Not sure why we need an official county song, either.

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A law prohibiting the Legislature from being able to consider things like "official state rock song", and tranferring the responsibility for making such decisions to the Massachusetts Office of Travel and Tourism - where it rightfully belongs.

We also need a law prohibiting the Legislature and local leaders from considering "memorial" designations for various public buildings and other infrastructure.

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The fact that the official amphibian bill was originally filed on behalf of a second grade class in 2011 makes me wonder if it played out similarly to the official raptor bill in New Hampshire.

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frivilous legislation. Way to properly indoctrinate second graders in how our political system really works.

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Peepers are an indicator of ecosystem health. If "official" status means attention is paid to them, that also means a lot for conservation and restoration of wetlands. Wetland health will be increasingly important as our climate becomes wetter.

Sorry if it doesn't matter to you if you can't pave that.

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They are usually one of the first harbingers of spring. If we piss them off, they might stop it from coming at all! *shudder*

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Peepers may be an easy and or favorite belweather, but you can put any other bird in the cage and call it the canary in the coal mine just the same. Their importance to this state is as big as this state's importance to them...none.

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Yes. Yes it is.

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And a few of the other suggestions.

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Amphibian as bird?

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you state are just as likely to happen if the Department of Environmental Protection were allowed to declare the "peeper" as the official Massachusetts amphibian.

However, requiring the Great and General Court to pass a law to create such a designation, or an "official state" anything, or even so the RMV can issue a new special license plate, is nothing more than a frivolous waste of their time and the taxpayer's resources.

But let's continue finding "justifications" for the Legislature to waste their time with this c^@p instead of demanding they work on the many real and pressing matters facing this state, including fixing the MBTA's financial issues.

And I never said a word about wanting to pave over everything in sight. Please stop confusing me with Marrkkk.

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Are you and others all typing your screeds at work?

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Request a copy of the Sample Specimen Ballot Poster by email for the Election Tomorrow Tuesday 31 March 2015 of the Massachusetts1st Suffolk Representative East Boston Ward 1 Precincts 1-14 at
http://www.cityofboston.gov/contact/?id=33

Any kind soul know how to post a copy of the Sample Specimen Ballot Poster online?... it's always too late in the day for folks to familiarize themselves with the formatting the very same time at the Polls when voting.

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You want the names of the two people on the ballot?

Adrian Madaro (D)
Joanne Pomodoro (I)

Two choices, one vote.

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C'mon. If we have to have an official revolver of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, it should be the Smith&Wesson .38 Police Special.

Also, all our police forces should have .38 Police Specials instead of Glocks. Having Glocks just makes police more likely to use excessive force -- a .38 Police Special encourages you to aim each shot and not just blaze away. It's a far more reasonable gun for police to have than a Glock.

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I kinda liked the huge demonic sculpture. Universal Hub had a picture of it a few months ago.

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Eastern Equine Encephalitis Virus

We're #1. Get on it, legislators.

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