If you're going to lower somebody into a trash chute, make sure you use high-count linens

WBZ reports a Salem woman was injured when she fell three stories down a chute into a trash compactor - which activated and crushed her leg. Seems she was helping a guy try to retrieve his keys, which had fallen down the chute:

After numerous failed attempts, the man lowered the victim into the compactor using a sheet tied to her legs. That sheet broke ...





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"The Lovely Loring Towers"

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So, it's 4:00 AM, and the woman agrees to have a sheet tied to her ankles and be sent down the trash chute, for the tidy sum of $20. (Naturally, it would never occur to them to access the chute from the first floor.)

One can only imagine the sequence of events leading up to this, and including how the gentleman's keys found their way into the trash chute at 4:00 AM.

Many years ago I was riding the 455 bus to Salem late at night. There were only one or two other passengers, but the bus driver was announcing every single cross street and landmark all the way from Haymarket. Not speaking as if to passengers, but sort of mumbling to himself, like he was practicing for an imagined television announcer job:

"Ladies and gentlemen: the lovely Loring Towers"

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