Hey, there! Log in / Register

Hard times in Quincy Center

The Quincy Patriot Ledger reports police arrested a man they caught masturbating in a Quincy Center parking lot outside two different restaurants on two consecutive days - and that when they put him in lockup, he started right up again. He faces a variety of charges.

Neighborhoods: 
Topics: 
Free tagging: 

Ad:

Comments

Patient goes for his annual physical. Doctor says, "I don't know how to tell you this, but you have to start masturbating."

"Why?" says the patient.

"So I can start the examination..."

up
Voting closed 0

Wait, this is the immigration thing, right?

(TINY EDIT- Adam changed the teaser on the article before this so that it actually references the immigration thing as opposed to this story, which makes my reference kind of odd. Still, I won't change what I wrote. Speaking of tiny edit...

You know, we laugh at this guy, but... that's what we do.)

up
Voting closed 0

Not to excuse his actions, but he's suffering some serious mental health problems.

up
Voting closed 0

That he needed to buy a magazine for it.

up
Voting closed 0

How quaint. Do they even print skin mags anymore?

up
Voting closed 0

but, yes

up
Voting closed 0

 

up
Voting closed 0

For most judges, being assigned this case would be a real let down and they be inclined to go soft on him.

Of course, the right judge might rise to the occasion and rule in favor of a stiff punishment.

up
Voting closed 0

The hearings on whether he is up for a trial might take more than four hours. Otherwise, he'll be yanked into the mental health system.

up
Voting closed 0

... he could always hope for this judge:

A former Oklahoma judge convicted for using a penis pump while presiding over trials has been disbarred.

http://www.abajournal.com/news/article/ex_judge_disbarred_for_using_peni...

up
Voting closed 0

It seems like no matter how hard they try, they can't seem to penile-ize this guy..

up
Voting closed 0

but Adam, to his credit, never leaves us with a turgid writing or comes across with a tumescent ego. We get just the hard, sometimes hot, sometimes warm, but never flaccid facts.

up
Voting closed 0

Tons of bad puns below..I expect better from the UHub community.

up
Voting closed 0

and did Eddie Shore send him?

up
Voting closed 0

Sounds mentally ill.

Clearly what this guy needs is a lifetime criminal record and sex offender registration.

up
Voting closed 0