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Citizen complaint of the day: Crazed Baker Street turkey grows more violent by the day

Larry, the formerly peaceful turkey turned fire-spitting hellspawn by a misguided, if well meaning motorist, is upping his game - and his attacks on cars at VFW Parkway and Baker Street in West Roxbury.

Larry sparked two 311 complaints just today, including this one:

There is a wild feisty turkey who keeps running out on the roadway causing traffic to slow down and stop . This has been going on for at least a week . Someone is going to be injured by this daring turkey . Animal control needs to move it , contain it or euthanize it .

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Comments

I saw a car stop in the middle of the VFW today for this turkey.

The turkey will move out of your way people! Ever see a dead turkey in the road that got hit by a car? There is a reason for that.

Rant over

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Because the raccoons and coyotes descend on its carcass en masse and eat it all before the light changes. Sheesh.

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Strike us down and we become more powerful than you ever could imagine.

Our blood is that of lovers, fighters, poets, and martyrs. History is written by and with it. Our brave fallen shall never be forgotten for their resistance to the usurpation of our native lands by human supremacists.

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Mmmm. Gravy.

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          ( a hot oven )

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Would the world be a better place if this creature got "accidentally" run over?

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Or should I say "carfull" as in "car full of offal".

You really don't want to go around hitting large sacks of meat. Not a good idea.

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Once, at a get-together in VA, someone showed up with a turkey that had been hit by the truck in front of him on the highway. He proceeded to dismantle it with what tools he had on hand (a hacksaw and pliers) and they threw it on the grill. Apparently it was quite good.

Apparently there is a range of speeds at which you can kill a turkey with a vehicle but not have it explode. However, I can't speak to how well the car or truck's grill would fare...

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If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you wrong us, shall we not revenge?

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Put up a wall and make the foul pay for it.

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...does not the juice run clear?

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Why don't cops or a brave meter maid just stand by issuing tickets to cars who park and put their hazards on during rush hour on Hyde Park Avenue? 311 anybody? Bueller?

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Ohhh Larry how could you!!!!

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