Fortunately for students at UMass Amherst, there are alternatives to Philadelphia Cream Cheese

No Philly cream cheese at UMass Amherst until after the Super Bowl

These signs went up this week in the cafeterias at UMass Amherst, which has the best food in the country and where the motto this week is "You Were. You Are. You Can't Get Any Philly Cream Cheese This Week."

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So

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OK I have to give a big eye roll at this. This is just dumb

So no generic cream cheese?

Can I have a side of cream cheese so I can dip my freedom fries in it?

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I'm sure they found a source of generic cream cheese

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At least for this week. :-). It's actually near impossible to read, but the sign does say "Other brands available" (you know how expensive the wires are between Amherst and here; our remote bureau had to compress the photo something fierce to get it here at a reasonable cost).

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Locally sourced and produced

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That's how UMass Amherst usually rolls. Would not surprise me if they worked a deal with a local farmer.

The cow's name is on the tag next to the bin.

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Yuppies

I'll bet everyone else has just switched to Fluff.

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Squirrels

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I did that once to keep the squirrels off the birdfeeder pole. The squirrels just ate the Crisco.

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I guess Philly will have to

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I guess Philly will have to boycott the cheese too, cause it's made by Kraft /s

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Ah, good old Zoomass. Are the

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Ah, good old Zoomass. Are the students in Southwest rioting yet while chanting "Yankees suck"*?

*Yes, this chant happened during the 2004 win

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Last Year

My son went out and walked toward South wearing his Marty jersey.

He said he got offered shit beer from strangers and hugged by drunk guys.

That was pretty much the extent of it.

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This get chanted anytime

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This get chanted anytime enough a large enough crowd of (usually but necessarily) drunk Boston-bros congregate regardless of circumstance. Concerts? Check. Unrelated sporting events? Check. Randomly on the Green Line? Check.

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Lame

Find something useful to worry about.

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Who's worried?

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I mean, apparently you are, but who else is worried?

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Shark Jumped

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These Super Bowl bet and ban things have really jumped the shark this year.

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Is this report

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from UHub west bureau?

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Why, yes it is

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I saw a photo of one of the signs on Facebook or Twitter and immediately donned my green eye shade and wired the bureau:

True? Philly Cream Cheese banned at school? Need pic. Stop.

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West Bureau

Seems like the logical next step toward eventually taking over the family business?

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