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Lynn, Lynn, city of machetes, don't break into a man's house, he might carve you into spaghettis

WCVB reports a couple of sad-sack yeggs chose the wrong Lynn house to break into the other night: The homeowner quickly got the better of them with his trusty machete, the one he keeps under his bed:

I have a shaved head, a crazy beard, I work out, climb mountains, run races, I’m covered in tattoos and I was in my underwear with a machete.

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Comments

I love the guy's repartee, but the funniest moment is when the reporter pulls a dead leaf that had flown into the guy's beard while keeping the interview going.

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man's beard interests you :)

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Is he available?

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Cutting weeds, maybe?

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yes he is

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Remind me to stay the heck out of Lynn.

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Hardly scary, jeez people.

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you tell him that to his face, will ya? Then let us know how scary he really is.

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I went to high school with him before he left school and could easily take him in a one on one fight but I still wouldn't risk it. He is one of those guys who does not seem like much until he gets really mad or goes really weird on you, I do bet waving his machete around ranting he must have seemed quite scary to these kids who were not expecting that.

Fun fact , he used to also offer to buy people's souls for a dollar. So who knows how many lives he has stockpiled lol

On a serious note I am happy he managed to make something of himself and the first thing he thought of when kids broke into his home was how they were ruining their lives. Not many people would give a lecture like that in the heat of the moment.

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He's about the same height and weight as Bruce Lee.

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It's the size of the machete.

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thinking all along machetes rhymed with hatchets. The things I learn on U-Hub!

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...will hack you into spa-ghet. *italian pinch hand*

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Gives a nod of approval

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then he silently walks away (without looking back)

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The year is getting late... but Adam isn't giving up on adding contenders for 2018's best post title.

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Reporter: Why keep it under your bed?

Dude: Well where the hell else would you keep it?

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Some idiot may try to break in while I'm asleep!

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Does this reporter not know many Caribbean or central American people? This is a common place to keep it. Either that or the "hidden in plain sight" method where you hang it above your mantel along with baskets and wooden carvings and other cultural items so anyone who would care assumes it's surely decorative.

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I keep mine in the basement next to the Banana Tree -- where else would you keep it?

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got a hook just for hanging my machete on the wall.

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"I have a shaved head, a crazy beard, I work out, climb mountains, run races, I’m covered in tattoos and I was in my underwear with a machete."

Please let that go viral...

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After a quote like that, I was actually kind of disappointed in his beard.

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But even Stan could not have created a character as heroic and entertaining as the Lynn Lecturer who captures criminals and lectures them on lessons in life.

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I have never heard the term "yegg" before...learn something new every day.

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I figured Adam just made it up, but it's an actual (informal) word.

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You read it in Damon Runyon stories.

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of the year today.

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I always like your rhyming titles, but this one is probably my favorite of them all.

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