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Things getting rough in Concord

Wicked Local Concord reports a woman walked into the town police station with four yellow pills she'd found at a local park:

Each pill had a small picture of Marge Simpson on them. Police checked online and reported the pills were a limited edition Tic-Tac.

H/t Geoff Edgers.




Some illegal drugs have cartoon artwork, as a brand of the source.

I've never heard of Tic-Tacs having artwork on them.

She went out of her way to remove the possibly dangerous drugs, before a toddler or pet could ingest them, and bring it to the police station.

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But they're a thing and I wish all police stories could be like this, instead of what I usually write about.

There are plenty of fun items in that police report, including:

A caller on Williams Road reported a loose horse running in the roadway towards Old Marlboro Road. A second caller reported the horse had been captured.

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The lead story is a classic example of odd suburban police work

Sunday, June 17

1:59 a.m.: A caller from Monument Street reported a party attempted to gain access to her home. Police confirmed the party was a delivery driver placing a newspaper in the doorway.

Don't get me wrong. I love these, and my fear is that police departments will become more coy about putting things like these out if too many people laugh at them.

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There's also the caller who reported a "black coyote" that turned out to be an escaped black Lab.

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Was in Brookline Tab's police blotter many years back. Woman reported someone stealing dirty diapers from a hamper in back yard.

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If you think suburban ones are odd, you should read college town blotter. My favorite one ever from college days:

* 10:51 p.m. - Police responded to a Main Street apartment for a report of non-stop laughing by the residents that was annoying neighbors. While the person reporting thought the neighbors might be using drugs, police determined that they just watching a marathon of Jim Carrey movies.


There's another good one there

* 4:16 p.m. - Police were unable to locate a white goat wandering in the middle of South East Street near the South Amherst Town Common. Two days later at 9:47 a.m., the goat was reported wandering in the area of the South Amherst alternative high school.

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After all, it often takes some strong drugs to get through a Jim Carrey movie marathon...

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You love that we live such atomized lives in such a state of manufactured terror that people seriously think deliverymen are coming to rob them? This story does definitely summarize the role of suburban police, bureaucrats ready to respond to whatever pointless nonsense suburban busy bodies feel like they need to go to customer service over.

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It's common for the shut-ins there to call the cops when they see teenagers walking down their street. Standard operating procedure is to say "I think they're smoking pot" so that the cops have a reason to go after them. A little while back someone called in to the cops that the kids coming home from school looked suspicious because they had back-packs on. The PD dutifully went down and checked it out. A very high-strung population they have up there.

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The after school program that my kids attended in grade school had to get a restraining order on one such nutjob after she kept calling the cops because "the kids don't have coats on", regardless of what temperature it was. She also reported to CPS until they threatened her with legal action for false complaints.

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Not to be argumentative, but just like that we are back to the little old lady from Brookline who left her sister's body under the kitchen table for over a year. She insisted that there was nothing wrong with her and everyone should just leave her alone. We are taking about the Landed Gentry here. There are many street people who would benefit from an increase in mental health services, but what do you do with those who aren't willing to come forward? At what point do you kick down doors "in their best interest"?

Wait, this is supposed to be a fun post. How bout them rich suburbanites, eh? Don't get me started.

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