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BC student charged with encouraging boyfriend to kill himself, which he did the morning he was supposed to graduate

A Suffolk County grand jury has indicted now former Boston College student Inyoung You on charges she repeatedly texted her boyfriend and fellow BC student Alexander Urtula to kill himself - and then watched as he jumped to his death from the top Northeastern University's Renaissance Garage on the morning of May 20, 90 minutes before he was due to participate in graduation ceremonies at BC - the Suffolk County District Attorney's office reports.

You, now back in her native South Korea, was formally charged with one count of involuntary manslaughter, the DA's office says.

According to the DA's office, You had barraged Urtula with text messages, many abusive, throughout a "tumultuous" 18-month relationship.

In the two months prior to his May 20 death, the couple exchanged more than 75,000 text messages, of which Ms. You sent more than 47,000. Many of the messages display the power dynamic of the relationship, wherein Ms. You made demands and threats with the understanding that she had complete and total control over Mr. Urtula both mentally and emotionally. Her texts included repeated admonitions for Mr. Urtula to “go kill himself” to “go die” and that she, his family, and the world would be better off without him.

​The investigation revealed Ms. You used manipulative attempts and threats of self-harm to control Mr. Urtula and isolate him from friends and family. It also found that Ms. You was aware of his spiraling depression and suicidal thoughts brought on by her abuse. Even still, she continued to encourage Mr. Urtula to take his own life.

According to the DA's office:

On the morning of May 20, Ms. You was tracking Mr. Urtula’s location and went to the Renaissance garage and was present when he jumped.

The garage is located off Tremont Street and Melnea Cass Boulevard, near the Ruggles T stop.

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Comments

She sent him 47,000 texts over a 2 month period? That's about 800 texts a day. That's crazy....how do you send that many texts in one day?

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being an obsessive sociopath!

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In the two months prior to Urtula's death, the couple exchanged more than 75,000 text messages, 47,000 plus from You alone.

Just to put that in context, there are about 86,400 minutes in 2 months. Wow!

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", which he finally did"... please! rephrase your headline... it appears as if you were expecting him to kill himself.

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Yeah, maybe change to "which he eventually did" or something like that.

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Because I got more information on the case, but part of the point of the indictment was that she was allegedly driving him to his death.

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I don't know about this trend of indicting (and, in the case of Michelle Carter, convicting) people for "encouraging" someone to commit suicide. It's certainly a heinous thing to do, but I don't see how it's legally a crime. She "overwhelm(ed) Mr. Urtula'a will to live" sure sounds evil but I'm not sure it sounds illegal. It's a slippery slope. Will people start to get arrested for telling people to "drop dead", or to "go jump in a lake"?

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not unless they leave a written record of having done so 800 times per day for a prolonged period of time

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We're not talking about somebody, oh, telling a particular blogger to jump in a lake or whatever, but somebody who allegedly conducted an unrelenting campaign to get a vulnerable person to kill himself - over the course of 18 months and through thousands of text messages and who knows what sort of more direct personal attacks.

As in the Carter case, the prosecution will have to prove the depths of their relationship and her alleged and overwhelming threats, in a way that you or I would never be able to bring a legal challenge against somebody telling one of us to jump in a lake. It's not going to be an easy task.

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I think they'll be able to prove their case just like the Carter case.

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How do you not see how it’s not a crime?

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Imagine how horrible it must have been for Mr. Urtula's family to anticipate his graduation and instead have to deal with his death. I understand the concern for FIrst Amendment rights, but at some level, verbal abuse and cruelty should be treated the same as "yelling fire in a crowded theater".

These cases only come about when the person told to kill him or herself actually does it. Continual disparagement leads to the deed. In both this case and the Carter case, the person kept up the "encouragement" even as the victims were clearly on the verge of killing themselves. The victims would have still been alive if the women had reversed themselves when it became clear that the men would actually do the deed.

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if the michelle carter case was borderline, this is clear cut. her physically going to where he was to kill himself and not try to stop it shows nothing but malice and contempt. she was reveling in the power she wielded over him.

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is worth getting 800 texts in a week, let alone in a day. don't wish to distract from the tragedy of this but damn. sounds like these young people had little connection to the lower-text world of older adults. too much goddamn consumer tech. life is real and not a game.

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Yo, I'm one of those tech-obsessed millennials who is always glued to my phone and prefers texting but even I think that 47,000 texts in 2 months is CRAZY.

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"...75,000 text messages, of which Ms. You sent more than 47,000"

That means he sent 28,000 texts... we all have free will.
Text, phone, email, social media... you can block someone on all platforms in literally seconds.

Don't get me wrong... it's a damn shame this man is dead.
And maybe she did make him feel like shit; maybe she is a terrible person.
But is this a crime? I don't like the precedent these cases are setting.

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Are the Transit Police the lead agency? Just watched the news coverage and the Transit Police Chief or Deputy Chief was side by side with DA Rollins during the press conference.

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Some men believe that they can't be domestically abused by their wife/girlfriend or that there are no resources to help abused men.

But you can be abused and there are resources, so please get help if needed.

U.S. and Canada: 1-800-799-7233 – The National Domestic Violence Hotline or the TTY line for the deaf: (800) 787-3224

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Don’t get me wrong. This woman sounds like a horrific bitch that deserves, if guilty, the harshest if penalties. That said, she didn’t put a gun to the boyfriend’s head, nor did she even put one in his hands. She used words. Again, vicious evil woman. My point here is that we have DA Rachel Rollins, who has said she is willing to refuse to prosecute heroin dealers— people who put deadly substances in the hands of others for a fee— but she wants to prosecute this woman for the words she spoke and wrote. It doesn’t really make sense.

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Because you maintain a warped view of reality.

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I guess I just feel that one who sells heroin is just as dangerous and deadly, if not more so, than one who kills people with words.

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