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Citizen complaint of the day: The festering, color-changing gallon jug on the side of Comm Ave.

Oh what mysteries are contained within this bottle?

A concerned citizen files a 311 complaint about the bottle that's been sitting on Comm Ave. at Strathmore Road in Brighton for three weeks now:

This weird bottle of unknown content has been sitting on the curb and changing colors for like 3 weeks. I'd pick it up and throw it out but I have no idea what it contains and it's nasty.

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Comments

For the love of god, don't open it!

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Voting closed 26

It's either used paint thinner or barf. In either case, not opening it is wonderful advice.

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Voting closed 6

I doubt somebody could direct their stream of barf into the narrow opening of that bottle.

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Voting closed 9

So the city will let it leave the area on it's own recognizance.

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Voting closed 40

And ready to explode!

Get this poor man a safe space. He's been TRIGGERED!

Your name isn't Paul Sheehan, is it?

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Voting closed 5

Someone should introduce it to the Random Hall Milk.

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Voting closed 16

It took 3 weeks for someone to see something and say something. Oy

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Voting closed 7

Just leave it alone, it's about to hatch.

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Voting closed 22

A bottle of piss .

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Voting closed 11

Good exterior grade wood glue.

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Voting closed 12

is that the City has not touched this in over 3 weeks. If it wasn’t for 311 the City departments would do practically nothing, BTD tops the lazy list by the amounts of parking violations reported.

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Voting closed 12

Mum! Dad! It's evil! Don't touch it!!

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Voting closed 8

That's just a bottle of jenkem.

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Voting closed 15

But it looks like the jug from Costco-brand maple syrup, with the label peeled off.

https://www.costco.com/Kirkland-Signature-Organic-Pure-Maple-Syrup%2C-33...

Posts like this make me nostalgic for the six years I lived in A-B.

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Voting closed 9