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Citizen complaint of the day: Dangerous silver coffee pot with a spout just sitting there

A concerned citizen files a 311 complaint about the situation on School Street downtown:

There is a coffee pot (large silver with spout) in the garden along the side of School St by the Alley next to the mailbox. It's silver and in the shrubs next to the street. People commenting it could be something dangerous.

Neighborhoods: 

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Comments

Is it a coffee pot or a tea pot? I think -- given the historic nature of events that have occurred in this area of Boston -- this has to be clarified.

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For silly ads attached to random infrastructure we need to call it if for abandoned coffee pots in a park.

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Even after Turner Broadcasting finally acknowledged the guerilla advertising tactic, each incident has to be approached as an actual bomb. Not to mention any non "lightbright" devices that needed attention.

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Except they have hired Colombian right wing paramilitaries to do their dirty work.

The coffee pot is their known calling card of death throughout the Andes.

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Is going to find that, brew a pot, and begin a downward spiral of caffeine addition.

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Or it didn't happen

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According to 311, it didn't happen.

Closed with status: Case Invalid. cannot verify; no photo nor contact info and case submitted previous day to non-emergency line dept

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They've closed most of my requests about things like pedestrian lights not working, areas needing repaving, etc., saying to resubmit with a photo. Which, the fuck? Don't you need to send someone out to look it over and determine the correct course of action anyway? I didn't assume they would be looking at a crappy phone picture and determining exactly what's wrong with it and how to proceed, so I didn't stop and get my phone out and take a photo. And are "valid" requests only ones from people who are sighted/have smart phones/know how to use them?

When I DO send photos of things like city vehicles parked in bike lanes with tons of nearby open spots, they just close it three days later saying it isn't there anymore. Well no shit. That doesn't resolve it though. Did you teach your people to stop jeopardizing people's safety?

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I'm a little coffeepot short and stout,
Sitting looking menacing on your route;
Complain to 311 if you're in doubt,
But, include a photo or they won't come out.

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Well done.

Java Teen Hunger Force?

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The well-known calling card of the militant leftists An-Tea-Fa.

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…. but ….you’ll have a latte to cry about if this really is a dangerous bomb.