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New way to increase ridership on the T: Porn cars

Around 2:30 p.m. today, Josh Deering reported from car 1238 on an Orange Line train hurtling downtown:

There is porn playing over the speakers of the orange line train I'm on right now @MBTA, makes for interesting station announcements.

Car 1238 is one of the old cars, granted with the wood paneling you'd expect for the sort of rec room where you'd bring out the VCR to play porn, but can you imagine what you could do on one of the newer 1400-series cars, with the big video screens?

H/t Ari Ofsevit.

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Comments

English high school dismissal time, it’s become a popular activity for them to open the doors of the cabs (often unlocked) and make announcements.

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Voting closed 30

Omg I’d die of awkwardness

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If you are a seasoned rider since the No Assing Rough peel off sticker letters on each door, you're unphased by now.

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Voting closed 36

Or Ass-embly. Or Backdoor Bay.

To be appropriate to the setting it'd have to be 1970s porn with pornstaches and all.

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Debbie Does Dot.

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School kids got access to train cab and decided to drive the older riders crazy which they do everyday when school gets out.

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"Entering Andrew"

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Voting closed 39

This reminds me of a dirty joke we used to tell each other as kids.

"A kid was showering with his dad when he looked down and saw his dad's johnson and asked what it was. 'That's my train.'

The next day he was showering with his mom and looked at her breasts and asked what they were, 'Those are my headlights.' Then he pointed to her hairy lady parts and asked what that was, 'that's my tunnel.'

Late at night, the kid woke up scared so he asked to sleep with mom and dad. In the middle of the night he wakes up and screams..

Mommie Mommie turn on your head lights, Daddy's train is going into your tunnel!!!

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gross

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We were not right as kids.....

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We were not right as kids.....

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Well, some of the MTA cars in New York do have floor to ceiling poles in the middle of the aisle; provided that it didn't cause an ADA issue, maybe those could be added.

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The stuff I've seen online that is done to those poles.. and in MTA train stations is enough to make me wanna bathe in hand sanitizer after riding..

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IMAGE(https://media.giphy.com/media/xT5LMLX0UZn4Eqjq8w/giphy.gif)

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I'm surprised anyone could even understand what it was, given that any time a T driver makes a legitimate announcement it is completely unintelligible.

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I'm going to assume the folks who recognized porn over garbled speakers are probably fellow Gen-Xers who, as adolescents/young adults, watched scrambled porn on paid cable channels that the subscriber didn't pay for.

I had a college roommate who was a master at squiggle porn. We would all watch and listen, trying to figure out what was going on, then see if we were on the right track when a clear picture would pop up for a second every minute or so, and this person was just amazing at figuring it out.

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We would all watch and listen, trying to figure out what was going on,

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Stony Brook sounded like a porn name.

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if you want to reach Wonderland.

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Barry White - I'm Gonna Love You Just A Little More Baby

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