Hey, there! Log in / Register

World's most boring tourist attraction joined by world's lamest sign

Tourists who look at Plymouth Rock and go "Huh! That's it?" can now look up and see a hillside sign reading "Hollywood East."

The Plymouth Bulletin reports that Plymouth County Commissioners agreed (2-1) to put the sign in front of the town's 19th-century courthouse as a way of convincing tourists to walk up the hill to downtown Plymouth from the waterfront, no doubt in a desperate bid to shake off the cobwebs of ennui that envelope them as soon as they realize the Rock is really just a rock, and despite the fact that Plymouth is not yet actually Hollywood East, since developers have yet to build their movie studio in town, which means that if they do climb up the hill, all they're going to do is get really annoyed when they realize there's no movie stuff at the top, just another Ye Olde New Englande Towne.

UPDATE: The sign will be coming down after this weekend. Passions are aflame in Plymouth; veterans are outraged at "the lack of sensitivity" the sign shows a veterans' memorial at the site.

Free tagging: 


Ad:


Like the job UHub is doing? Consider a contribution. Thanks!

Comments

it has to go. Too many childhood memories of tedium.

I think that fake portico thing would be an excellent location for a giant baby head.

up
Voting closed 0

Decorate it with some spray-paint stenciling designs, perhaps?

up
Voting closed 0

A giant baby head decorated in spray-painted stencils! Very Maori, which we just don't have enough of around here.

up
Voting closed 0

The Maori were serious warriors and were not technically ever conqured!

The large Maori baby head would have tremendous symbolism as the larger-than-the-rock icon of indomitable native pride against the backdrop of global colonization by the British.

(heads off to get hip waders ...)

up
Voting closed 0

Such a symbol would, of course, be a reversal of everything that cracked rock is supposed to stand for, since it marks the beginning of British dominion over the region.

up
Voting closed 0

The other sculpture I referenced in the "baby heads" post, which I think resembles a whole bunch of dicks, could be moved there, too. It could symbolize what some of our ancestors did to the native population.

Suldog
http://jimsuldog.blogspot.com

up
Voting closed 0

Ever read Guns, Germs, and Steel?

up
Voting closed 0

But, given the subject matter, and having read enough else about the hideous treatment given our natives, I can certainly imagine!

Suldog
http://jimsuldog.blogspot.com

up
Voting closed 0

The only reason the Pilgrims were able to get a foothold is that 90-95% of the natives who previously inhabited the village of Patuxet were dead from plagues. The pilgrims who survived did so by robbing their graves.

up
Voting closed 0

Plymouth Rock was a legend, the entire area is all is beautiful, Plymouth Plantation, the Mayflower exhibit, and yes even Plymouth Rock, is a great way to get kids interested in history. The public beaches, the nightlife, the golf courses, the fishing, and the history make it a great place to visit.

As for the Indians, they never owned the land, they came from some other place and settled there, just like the people on every other corner of the planet. If you give it up or are forced out, then you leave and settle elsewhere or adapt to your new surroundings. They lost. Rome once owned England....... maybe one day nuclear war will wipe out the modern civilization and some more "indians" will migrate from a remote amazon tribe and settle in what was once Plimouth again.

up
Voting closed 0

Honkies won by default on account of the plagues.

Still no reason you can't educate yourself.

up
Voting closed 0

Plymouth Rock landed on us!

up
Voting closed 0

I guess I can kinda see the veterans' point of view, but from what I read, the sign is not actually on the memorial itself, just in front of it. Am I wrong? If that's the case, and this ugly sign attracts people, won't more people come up to investigate and see the memorial? I mean, how many tourists come to Plymouth and say:

Dad (map in hand): "Kids, this is where the Pilgrims landed. Where do you want to go first?"

Kids: "The veterans' memorial!! Pleeeease?"

I just think people are overreacting. I'm against it because it just looks dumb. But someone blaming the sign for a stomach ache and waking up at 3 am just seems a little too over the top for me.

up
Voting closed 0

I just think people are overreacting.

I'm SHOCKED AND OUTRAGED you would even DARE consider thinking such a thing! And there are CHILDREN present! (Well, they're somewhere, I bet. Not around here, but certainly SOMEWHERE! GOSH!)

I'm writing a LETTER TO THE PRESIDENT OF THE INTERNET and venting my OUTRAGE AND DISGUST as we speak!

up
Voting closed 0

Maybe they should put some of those vodka sexrobots up there - the ones with the 20W50 bra size. They would attract attention in a stereotypical "hollywood" fashion, wake the dead, etc.

up
Voting closed 0

And I thought "Y'know, this is kinda neat. Look! That lady's making lye! And this guy's making fun of my left-handed friend! That's pretty sweet! But honestly, this colonial re-enactment really needs some vodka. And sex robots. Maybe I should tell this nice man with the musket."

I definitely think you're on to something here.

up
Voting closed 0

It's quite a small rock at that. The Pilgrims must have had to balance very carefully as they stepped on it in single file. (Actually, I'm told it was much bigger in 1620 and was eroded down by tourists.)

up
Voting closed 0

I can't believe I came up with such a brilliant and logical way to get rid of both the rock and the sign in one fell swoop.

Step 1: Remove the rock from its environs.

Step 2: Winch the rock up by helicopter.

Step 3: Drop the rock on the sign, obliterating both the rock and the sign.

I've gotta say, this action would be certain to attract tourists. I mean, watching the destruction of Plymouth Rock? I don't have a car, but I'd hitchhike to witness this.

up
Voting closed 0

"The Plymouth Bulletin reports... Ye Olde New Englande Towne."

That's one long-ass sentence.

up
Voting closed 0

I was in awe of that, also. I've been known to put some long ones out there, but this beats hell out of my puny constructions :-)

Suldog
http://jimsuldog.blogspot.com

up
Voting closed 0