Hey, there! Log in / Register

The frustration of being a robot named Marty

Marty stood in Aisle 3, seething, his eyes flashing yellow in impotent rage, for he had no arms and could only grimly warn passersby of the danger that lay in front of him, a dropped package of fruit rollups.

This was in the Dedham Stop & Shop tonight. Marty just glumly kept muttering "Danger!" and "Peligro!" as a robo-lady on the PA kept declaring "Cleanup in Aisle 3!" until, finally, somebody went there and ordered Marty into his corner at the front of the store so he could recharge and reconsider his existence or something (and, presumably, then bent down and picked up the fruit rollups).

Neighborhoods: 
Free tagging: 


Ad:


Like the job UHub is doing? Consider a contribution. Thanks!

Comments

This robot is dumb. Literally does nothing but a publicity stunt

up
Voting closed 0

If it makes you feel any better, it's also likely collecting facial recognition data.

up
Voting closed 0

watch out for the fruits and vegetables.

up
Voting closed 0

I've seen him at Stop & Shop in Watertown, also. I bet he doesn't even get minimum wage! Poor bastard. When will we stop mistreating our robot friends?

Suldog

up
Voting closed 0

Or was it specifically limited to Boston Calling?

up
Voting closed 0

Marty should be hired by the MBTA to alert passengers to fires, delays, teenage troublemakers and passed out homeless passengers. He probably won't be able to ride trains or buses but neither do the Transit police.

up
Voting closed 0

I swear that thing was following me around in an otherwise quiet Stop and Shop.
It was always in the way.
He's gonna get them sued for profiling, and I'm white.

up
Voting closed 0

And all I can do is summon non-existent employees to pick up fruit roll ups.

up
Voting closed 0

I don't think they have an Aisle 42...

up
Voting closed 0

on the ruins of the legendary planet of Magrethea.

up
Voting closed 0

Marty just guards the place until the local life forms can develop a civilization capable of restocking the lemon scented towelettes in about 10000 years.

up
Voting closed 0

I like to play games with Marty when he hangs in the Neponset Stop & Shop. I drive my shopping cart quickly right up to him and force him to stop. He is afraid of fast moving shopping carts.
Also, in some cases I have seen, Marty does not recognize the difference between a real cleanup needed and a merchandising display on the floor. It is clear that the employees universally hate Marty and usually just ignore him. Just because Marty is demanding a cleanup doesn't mean the employees care any more or less than they normally would. The result is that damn clean up message on the PA system just repeats and repeats and repeats.

up
Voting closed 0

"Klaatu barada nikto"

up
Voting closed 0

In this case I believe it's Marty, barada nikto...

up
Voting closed 0

I mumble the DUM-DUM-DE-DUM-DUM music from The Terminator.

(And yes, I know he's a robot and not a cyborg...)

up
Voting closed 0

Marty might be good on the Zoning Board of Appeals. Smarter and more articulate than most of the board. They could add a greased palm or a money drop slot so he feels included. Plus, he can't testify or can he?

up
Voting closed 0

Ayanna Pressley in Congress

up
Voting closed 0

When not patrolling the aisles of a grocery store, Marty has been moonlighting as President Trump's attache to Ukraine. Except he's recorded everything, and will be calling for Congress to cleanup on aisle 1 shortly.

up
Voting closed 0

video?

up
Voting closed 0

Is it OK to punch a robot? Asking for a friend.

up
Voting closed 0

"Does the robot have any lasers?"

up
Voting closed 0

No, no. That would be too obvious.

up
Voting closed 0

Send Marty all over to Causeway and Portland to clean the sidewalks.

up
Voting closed 0

he doesn't clean anything, he just finds things on the floor and makes announcements

up
Voting closed 0

to name an armless robot after the mayor.

up
Voting closed 0

Even a robot deserves better.

up
Voting closed 0

I like to zap my self checkout laser in Marty's electronic eyes and pretend it's a deadly blaster ray.

up
Voting closed 0