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Man tried to stab an Uphams Corner store clerk who wouldn't sell him tobacco and when he failed, hit him with a Hot Pocket, police say

Man wanted for Hot Pocket attack

Boston Police report looking for a man they say tried to stab a clerk at the Uphams Corner Market, 521 Columbia Rd., 521 Columbia Road in Dorchester, failed, then whacked him with a Hot Pocket.

Police say the man, described as 5'1," was enraged because he had no ID and so the clerk refused to sell him a tobacco product, around 7:15 a.m. on Oct. 19. He then then ran out of the store, police say.

If he looks familiar, contact detectives at 617) 343-4275 or the anonymous tip line by calling 800-494-TIPS or by texting TIP to CRIME (27463). If found, he could face charges that would include assault and battery with a dangerous weapon, to wit, a Hot Pocket, and assault with a dangerous weapon, to wit, a knife.

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Comments

I'm sure Hot Pockets aren't the healthiest of foods, but this seems a stretch on the part of the officers.

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Was it frozen? How long was it in the microwave? Was it at molten lava stage?

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tried to stab a clerk

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16

Follow the link.

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11

How long do you have to nuke it in order to have a weapons grade Hot Pocket?

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Still, for pure lethal power, Hot Pockets can't possibly compare with a McDonald's apple pie.

Austin Powers is suddenly running through my head…
“Would you like a Hot Pocket?”