'So now their 500 million dollar zeppelin pulls into Fenway tonight'

Red considers the annual return of the pinstripes to Fenway Park tonight:

... Youkilis will kick somebody's ass. ... Of course, as He Whose Beard Scares Children is currently one of our hottest hitters, we can't risk a donnybrook-induced injury. So we can only hope that John Henry has already assembled the Youk Freedom Fighters -- an elite team of rustlers, cutthroats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperadoes, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, half-wits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswagglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass kickers, shit kickers and Methodists -- to do the dirty work. ...