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Statement from Julissa Brisman's mother

The Suffolk County District Attorney's office released this statement from Carmen Guzman, mother of the woman found murdered at the Marriott, allegedly at the hands of Philip Markoff:

Our family has been devastated by the loss of our beautiful daughter, Julissa. We are a close family, and Julissa called us every day. We won’t be getting those calls anymore. She was studying to be a counselor and helped many people in our community. Over the past few days, people have told us the many ways in which Julissa helped them. Her friends say Julissa was like a bright light, full of energy and optimism, always ready to help other people. These words mean so much to us.

The feeling of losing my daughter in this way and the pain she must have felt will haunt me for the rest of my life. She won’t live to see her dreams. We will hold Julissa in our hearts every day.

I feel very much relieved that the man who did this is in custody and will not be able to do this horrible thing to another family.

We wish to give our sincere thanks to all the people who have expressed their sympathy and prayed for Julissa and for us.

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Comments

Your daughter was flying to Colorado and Boston and elsewhere to parade about half-naked at parties and "massage" random men in hotel rooms for money. Maybe if you'd given a little more consideration and concern for her choices in life then this wouldn't have happened either. I guess we'll never know now.

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That public speculation strikes me as hurtful.

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Please try to imagine yourself in the position of a member of Julissa's family who might read those words.

Also, she was a fully grown adult. Her family was not responsible for her actions.

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.

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When I first heard there was a BU connection, I seriously wondered if it was you.

That's because your hatred of "fallen women" as it were is obvious and certainly way out of hand. Your comments here are as irrational, hateful, and illogical as those Fred Phelps aims toward gay people.

Maybe you should see a therapist about this hatred, as it is beyond garden variety misogyny and bordering on pathology ... before you end using it as an excuse to do the kinds of things that medical student from your institution has allegedly been up to. I'm not sure what your problem is, but I think you need a professional to help you get over this extreme hatred of female sex workers you have been spewing on this site.

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I don't think Kaz's expressed sentiments are too unusual.

I think that a *lot* of people in Boston were brought up in good, solid "moral values" families where they were taught that things like prostitution were morally wrong, and represent a failing of character and upbringing. That might be where Kaz is coming from.

Other times, people have an experience with a loved one being in a situation like that, or being in that situation themselves, and have strong feelings about it as a result.

(I'm more from the "try to understand everyone's perspective" camp, myself.)

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I'm not attacking. I'm pointing out that he has a serious problem with his hatred of female sex workers, and might benefit from exploring that hatred with a professional rather than venting it here in such inappropriate ways.

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Though he does have criticism here and elsewhere for the woman, I read this particular post as him thinking the woman had been failed by her family, which could be seen as sympathetic to her.

(OK, I'm done for the day.)

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And they failed her yet again by throwing their dignity out the window to be a prop for the prosecution. Hurrah.

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you have no idea why this woman chose to walk in the footsteps that she did. you don't know what her parents did, or did not do, to help or to hinder her. in squat, you don't know her or her family. and for you to sit and judge not only the victim, but her WHOLE FAMILY seems really beyond the pale.

we've all made questionable to bad decisions in our lives. the payback for them should be a violent and terrifying death, or a lifetime of mourning for your daughter, a young girl who never really got to grow up.

let the family be in peace in their time of grief.

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...the level of rancor (even hatred) you have displayed against this particular victim strikes me as downright pathological. Very distasteful.

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.

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To haunt her mother for the rest of her life.

Cheers, mate!

Say, how are your kids doing?

No, didn't think so.

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Kaz - totally uncool - are you saying you've made no personal choices in your life that your parents did know and or approve of? If so, you're truly a saint. Let the girl and her family RIP.

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This was an emotional statement by a grieving mother released by the District Attorney on the birthday of a murder victim whose alleged perpetrator hasn't even been TRIED yet in court. This was a DISGUSTING display of legalized jury tampering/pandering. How many of you said Markoff's fiance should have kept her trap shut instead of writing how she felt about Markoff to the media? What makes this different now? How about the fact that she wrote to the media directly and the DA is putting out this statement instead? How can the DA be allowed to release a message that indicts Markoff before the trial with language like "I feel very much relieved that the man who did this is in custody..."? Sure, ALL of the evidence that we've been given by police through the media points at Markoff and I personally have NO doubt that he did it, but you STILL can't go around putting out press releases like this and hiding behind a weeping mother! *THAT* is the obscenity that should be upsetting here.

I'm allowed to think that Julissa wasn't the most upstanding citizen in the world and made a LOT of dumb choices. Some of those choices even led her to be MILES from home and lying to her friends and family about her activities. Someone asked if I've ever disappointed my parents. I have AND they make it known to me and it hurts me to have done it when I learn that. I was also raised to respect women, so all of this nonsense about how I'm a pathological potential murder suspect who is misogyny personified is completely off-base. Part of my respect for women is that they respect themselves and that includes not finding johns all across America through Craigslist to give "massages" for money. I don't respect someone who makes that poor of a choice and it reflects poorly on their upbringing that they'd decide to go so far as to debase themselves in that way. It's a basic matter of self-respect and that's something your parents should help instill in you (especially if you aren't able to build it on your own). By the by, NONE of these thoughts on self-respect or lack of it even begin to suggest anyone should be killed over it. So, SwirlyGrrl, you can take your thoughts about me being a possible murder suspect, shove'em and swirl on it.

So, finally, if this mother should be protected from opinions like mine, then maybe she should keep her grief personal between her and her family and not be feeding statements like this to the DA, who shouldn't have been putting it out in order to keep from tainting this trial any more than the media already has (as an aside: where's the grieving mother's statement from the murder of the dead kid in Dorchester today?). And if we want NONE of this to have happened in the first place, maybe that asshole Markoff should have found a legal way to pay his gambling debts and Julissa should have stayed in NYC and focused on her classes instead of jaunting off trading her body for money.

But, no, you're all right, *I'm* the bad one here for having an opinion.

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Kaz, go back and read the things you said in the earlier threads. Ask yourself what that stuff looks like in print. Think about how your workplace would handle the things you were saying and how you said them if you spoke them aloud to a colleague, e-mailed them, or if you posted them from work and they were logged and brought to the attention of your supervisors. What do you think would happen.

You sound far more reasonable here and are actually raising some valid issues this time (I do agree that the amount and type of information being released could bias a jury pool) rather than hating on "whores", at least now that UHub has made it clear that your statements are troubling. However, I am still quite shocked at the hate you vented towards the victims of these crimes in other threads about this crime spree, even before there was a suspect in custody and the manipulation of the media commenced. I know from the private e-mail going around behind the scenes that it isn't just me.

It sounds like your issues with female sex workers go well beyond this particular case and the sensationalizing press generated by the Police and DA. I don't know if they are confined to pseudonymous bravado and sex workers, or if they are spilling over into the real world and get pointed toward actual women in your life and I don't care. But don't continuously vent insensitive and downright hateful "opinions" in a discussion and then act all wounded that people find them disturbing and possibly pathological and express their opinion that you might have some issues to resolve.

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Swirly, go back and quote one thing in an earlier thread where all I do is hate on "female sex workers". Make sure you capture the context. Be sure not to trip over all the places where I make it clear that she didn't deserve to die, that her death is a shame, that prostitutes should get out of a business that attracts violent clientele, that the johns are just as responsible for the sex crime, that selling sex for cash isn't a moral act but it's not murder either...

You know, all the stuff that basically says you're harping on a single bit of what I said (I'm pretty sure you're just in a snit that I called her a whore...something I wasn't even alone in saying about her) as if it's the underpinnings for an entire DSM-IV diagnosis and ignoring everything else because you want to keep painting me as a psycho misogynist on the brink of violent crime. You couldn't be more wrong. I don't hate women and I don't hate female sex workers. You're an ass for continuing to act like I have said that I do. What I hated from the very moment this story hit the airwaves is that everyone wants to hold the dead erotic services masseuse up on a pedestal just because she's a victim. Coddling her doesn't focus on the real problems and doesn't do justice to every other downtrodden women out there addicted to alcohol and getting cleaned up who DIDN'T turn to selling her body for cash (which is what ultimately put her in front of a gun to die)...or do justice for every other innocent murder victim who doesn't die in a posh hotel room at the hands of a whacked out med student leading a double life.

Absolutely, some of my comments have been intentionally insensitive. Sometimes sensitivities have to be stepped on to address the real problem, especially when sensitivities are being wrapped around the problem out of pity instead of addressing the root causes. The emperor has no clothes. The victims here were trading their safety, dignity, and self-respect for money. Plain and simple. Unfortunately, one of them also died in the process. It shouldn't have happened, but pardon me if I don't cry over it. She was in AA but it sounds like she was even picking and choosing the lessons she was learning from the Steps whenever it was convenient for her financial bottom line. Disappointing. But she was what she was and dressing her up as some sort of just down on her luck psych student about to help people as a counselor (and that's all she was!) is no more true than calling Markoff just a med student down on his luck after a few losses at the casino trying to afford a nice wedding (and that's all he was!).

Oh, and in case that last line is ambiguous, he's STILL and BY FAR the bigger blight on society than any of his victims ever were.

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What Kaz said up top here is mean. I didn't like it. I found it particularly ungraceful.

But indicative of some kind of psychological problem in Kaz? Pathologically hatin' on the hoors? Nah, that's just the Swirl making up her usual weird, hateful, ad hominem bullshit. She's decided the "sex workers" (erotic service providers?) are on the better side of PC, so she's off on her hobbyhorse, trying to think of the meanest things she can say in the name of nice.

But Kaz doesn't need my help here. He's a big boy (a reeeallly big boy). He's more stable than Swirly, certainly, for whom the countdown to frothing at the keyboard has clearly begun.

Pass the popcorn. I don't want to miss one of Swirly's epic freakouts.

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I pray for Julissa's family and friends that see all the bad sh** that people say about you and your daughter. Your daughter NEVER should have died this way but dont blame yourself or her for how she paid her bills. This crazy man could have meet her in a bar at church anywhere. Markoff would have taken anyones life he a KILLER. Your daughter was a bright girl and some people will never understand the hobby field but those who judge dont have a life nothing else better to do with there time.

rip

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I suspect that your post would've been more comforting without what I believe is insider slang.

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I was just thinking that, by using that term, the poster was inserting him/herself and an insider perspective on prostitution (and probably drunkenly/druggedly so). The family might prefer not to go there. Would've been best not to use any term at all, I think.

I didn't know that mainstream news had exposed that, so there's a good chance my read was wrong.

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