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Fan: Sox need to cut the mustard

Or at least, offer an alternative to that Gulden's stuff.

John Gallant of Hopkinton can't stomach the brown stuff and wants the Sox to give fans the choice of yellow mustard. Now, Gallant is a busy executive, but he's vowed to see this fight through to the end - and he's starting right at the top, in a letter to John Henry (disclosure: OK, Gallant's the president of my company, but he sure seems busy whenever I walk by his office - What? No, I really don't think he's only pretending to talk on the phone just to keep me from bothering him):

I hate the Gulden's brown mustard that is today the only choice for Sox hot dog and pretzel consumers and I know I'm not alone. I love a Fenway Frank, but because I don't love that fancy, yuppie mustard, my dog must be eaten naked, barren, devoid of condiment and the slight, but rewarding tang of yellow mustard. Or I must purchase my dog or pretzel outside the venerable park, running the risk that the item will cool before game time or be of lesser quality than the products offered by your fine organization.

Correspondence between the two follows:

January 8, 2007

Mr. John Henry
Principal Owner
Boston Red Sox
4 Yawkey Way
Boston, MA 02215-3496

Dear Mr. Henry,

Happy new year!

I know this is a very busy time for the Sox organization, what with preparing for the 2007 season and the signings of superstar players like Daisuke Matsuzaka and (potentially) J.D. Drew. So, it is with trepidation and humility that I raise what is admittedly a minor concern. However, I'm betting it's a concern shared by many long-time fans who attend games at Fenway Park. (I personally attend six to 10 games a year, buying tickets from various friends with season packages of one type or another.)

It's about mustard. Yes, mustard.

I know . . . you're probably shaking your head in baffled amazement right now. But, please, hear me out! I hate the Gulden's brown mustard that is today the only choice for Sox hot dog and pretzel consumers and I know I'm not alone. I love a Fenway Frank, but because I don't love that fancy, yuppie mustard, my dog must be eaten naked, barren, devoid of condiment and the slight, but rewarding tang of yellow mustard. Or I must purchase my dog or pretzel outside the venerable park, running the risk that the item will cool before game time or be of lesser quality than the products offered by your fine organization.

Mr. Henry, yellow mustard is the mustard of the common man. Some yellow mustard lovers like Gulden's. But not all. On the flip side, it's probably a pretty safe bet that brown mustard lovers can fall back to yellow mustard in a pinch. So, why not offer both? Or if the Sox can only offer one type of mustard, why not make it the common denominator - yellow mustard? Give the people yellow mustard! (Please.)

Again, I apologize for troubling you with this trivial matter. But I know you have worked hard to continually improve the Fenway experience for fans and I believe that you would not want to leave this one (yellow) stone unturned.

With sincere thanks and in Red Sox allegiance,

John Gallant
Hopkinton, MA 01748


Dear John,

John Henry asked that I respond to the letter that you had sent him. We are always happy to hear from our fans and value all types of feedback.

Thank you for your suggestion about changing the type of mustard that is used here at Fenway Park. Please know that comments like these are important to us and we will be sure to pass your suggestion along to Aramark, our food service providers. You are a great member of Red Sox nation and we value you as a fan.

Again, thank you for taking the time to write to us and thank you for your continued loyalty and support.

Sincerely,

Sarah McKenna
Director of Fan and Neighborhood Services

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Comments

How is Gulden's™, a mustard that has been on the market for 140 years -- 40 years longer than the boring yellow French's™ stuff -- 'Yuppie'?

The guy probably buys Wonder Bread™.

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I'll probably be meeting with him Monday; will pin him down on his taste in bread.

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I like a wide variety of breads - my favorite is probably tuscan. Brown mustard is not to everyone's taste, but, as I said, even brown mustard lovers will eat yellow mustard. The fallback should be yellow.

And BTW, isn't it really old hat on this here Web thing to accuse someone of being a white-bread eater when they disagree with you?

JG

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I'm old and have been on this here web thing forever, so I can't help being old hat, and I didn't say white bread, I specifically wrote Wonder Bread™, the bread equivalent of yellow mustard.

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