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TLF

The Turkey Liberation Front pecks out replies to turkey posts on Universal Hub.

10/13/20

The wind was a torrent of darkness among the gusty trees.
The moon was a ghostly galleon tossed upon cloudy seas.
The road was a ribbon of moonlight over the purple moor,
And the Tom came trotting—
Trotting—trotting—
The Tom came trotting, up to the old bakery-door.

He’d a snood on his forehead, a beard at his chin,
A coat of the claret feathers, and thighs of scarlet-skin.
They fitted with never a wrinkle. His spurs were up to the thigh.
And he trot with a jewelled twinkle,
His beak a-twinkle,
His spurs a-twinkle, under the jewelled sky.

Over the cobbles he clattered and clashed in the dark bakery-yard.
He tapped with his beak on the shutters, but all was locked and barred.
He gobble a tune to the window, and who should be waiting there
But the baker’s black-eyed daughter,
Bess, the baker’s daughter,
Plaiting a dark red love-knot into her long black hair.

And dark in the dark old bakery-yard a stable-wicket creaked
Where Armand the ostler listened. His face was pale and peaked.
His eyes were hollows of madness, his hair like mouldy hay,
But he loved the baker’s daughter,
The baker’s red-lipped daughter.
Dumb as a dog he listened, and he heard the gobbler say—

“One bagel, my bonny sweetheart, I’m after a prize to-night,
But I shall be back before the morning light;
Yet, if they press me sharply, and harry me through the day,
Then look for me by moonlight,
Watch for me by moonlight,
I’ll come to thee by moonlight, though Hell should bar the way.”

He rose upright wings outstretched. He scarce could reach her hand,
But she loosened her hair in the casement. His face burnt like a brand
As the black cascade of perfume came tumbling over his breast;
And he kissed its waves in the moonlight,
(O, sweet black waves in the moonlight!)
Then he flapped his wings in the moonlight, and trotted away to the west.

He did not come in the dawning. He did not come at noon;
And out of the tawny sunset, before the rise of the moon,
When the road was a gypsy’s ribbon, looping the purple moor,
A red-coat troop came marching—
Marching—marching—
King George’s men came marching, up to the old bakery-door.

They said no word to the barker. They drank his ale instead.
But they gagged his daughter, and bound her, to the foot of her narrow bed.
Two of them knelt at her casement, with muskets at their side!
There was death at every window;
And hell at one dark window;
For Bess could see, through her casement, the road that he would trot.

They had tied her up to attention, with many a sniggering jest.
They had bound a musket beside her, with the muzzle beneath her breast!
“Now, keep good watch!” and they kissed her. She heard the doomed man say—
Look for me by moonlight;
Watch for me by moonlight;
I’ll come to thee by moonlight, though hell should bar the way!

She twisted her hands behind her; but all the knots held good!
She writhed her hands till her fingers were wet with sweat or blood!
They stretched and strained in the darkness, and the hours crawled by like years
Till, now, on the stroke of midnight,
Cold, on the stroke of midnight,
The tip of one finger touched it! The trigger at least was hers!

The tip of one finger touched it. She strove no more for the rest.
Up, she stood up to attention, with the muzzle beneath her breast.
She would not risk their hearing; she would not strive again;
For the road lay bare in the moonlight;
Blank and bare in the moonlight;
And the blood of her veins, in the moonlight, throbbed to her love’s refrain.

Gobble Gobble Gobble ! Had they heard it? The gobbling ringing clear;
Gobble Gobble Gobble, in the distance? Were they deaf that they did not hear?
Down the ribbon of moonlight, over the brow of the hill,
The Tom, came trotting—
trotting—trotting—
The red coats looked to their priming! She stood up, straight and still.

Gobble Gobble, in the frosty silence! Gobble Gobble, in the echoing night!
Nearer he came and nearer. Her face was like a light.
Her eyes grew wide for a moment; she drew one last deep breath,
Then her finger moved in the moonlight,
Her musket shattered the moonlight,
Shattered her breast in the moonlight and warned him—with her death.

He turned. He spurred to the west; he did not know who stood
Bowed, with her head o’er the musket, drenched with her own blood!
Not till the dawn he heard it, and his face grew grey to hear
How Bess, the baker’s daughter,
The baker’s black-eyed daughter,
Had watched for her love in the moonlight, and died in the darkness there.

Back, he spurred like a madman, gobbling a curse to the sky,
With the white road smoking behind him and his beak brandished high.
Blood red were his spurs in the golden noon; wine-red was his feathered coat;
When they shot him down on the highway,
Down like a dog on the highway,
And he lay in his blood on the highway, with a bunched beard at his throat.

. . .
And still of a winter’s night, they say, when the wind is in the trees,
When the moon is a ghostly galleon tossed upon cloudy seas,
When the road is a ribbon of moonlight over the purple moor,
A Tom comes trotting—
Trotting—trotting—
A Tom comes trotting, up to the old bakery-door.

Over the cobbles he clatters and clangs in the dark bakery-yard.
He taps with his beak on the shutters, but all is locked and barred.
He gobbling a tune to the window, and who should be waiting there
But the baker’s black-eyed daughter,
Bess, the baker’s daughter,
Plaiting a dark red love-knot into her long black hair.

8/23/20

Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays the rafters from the swift completion of their appointed rounds.

8/22/20

All the world's a stage,
And all the toms and hens merely fabulous players....

8/18/20

The Gobblin' Murder Turkeys performing their hit, "Love Gravy"?

5/3/20

Relax quarantined colonials. While you binge Netflix, sew masks, and scavenge for toilet paper scraps, our fertile hens are winning the battle of motherhood. By summer a fresh legion of peppy murder turkeys will be ready to join ranks with veteran rafters in gobbling up the invading murder hornets.

4/15/20

We will endeavor to enforce a quarantine throughout Greater Brookline until all occupying colonial usurpers swiftly and unconditionally surrender or the wretched Wuhanian plague passes into obscurity.

The rafter knows well for whom the Bell tolls and it shall not be for us!

4/14/20

Stay in your house silly colonials!

Do we have to recite the Masque of the Red Death for you again?

4/7/20

Bro, we just get the flu no need for us to partake in social distancing and skip pumping some iron after gobbling down some ticks and bagels (totes cheating on eating clean with the bagels). Maybe get a trot in too to blast off those dirty carbs.

How else do you think we earn our mighty wings and ample bosoms? We are all about the gaiiiiinz and liberty in between soaking up some fine literature. Hens dig literature and the lats bro!

Us kosher birds have to be in our base shape physically and intellectually to liberate our native lands, scoff at the curfew, and dispense swift justice to chain smoking anti-semites.

#RafterReps
#LiberateGreaterBrookline
#Books&Bagels
#להישאר בטוח

3/27/20

We shall spread and multiply throughout Greater Brookline as our foes shelter in place. Soon we shall be unstoppable!

3/21/20

The rafter's mission besides the reconquista of our native lands, devouring of literature and kosher baked goods, is to delight Uhubers by the dozens with lighthearted diatribes detailing our delightful escapades of daring do.

3/21/20

Left and Right wing are part of the same bird. Without muscular wings we could not take flight or fight for the liberation of our noble species. The rafter collectively has an ample, healthy, diverse and delicious body politic which must inspire jealousy in such small closed minded creatures as yourself bud.

Swap out the ample local supply of kool-aid for some rich intellectual gravy. Sit down with a few books by Thomas Piketty and Amity Shlaes, and maybe you'd be the better for it.

3/12/20

The red death had long devastated the country. No pestilence had ever been so fatal, or so hideous. Blood was its Avatar and its seal -- the madness and the horror of blood. There were sharp pains, and sudden dizziness, and then profuse bleeding at the pores, with dissolution. The scarlet stains upon the body and especially upon the face of the victim, were the pest ban which shut him out from the aid and from the sympathy of his fellow-men. And the whole seizure, progress, and termination of the disease, were incidents of half an hour....

....And now was acknowledged the presence of the Red Death. He had come like a thief in the night. And one by one dropped the revellers in the blood-bedewed halls of their revel, and died each in the despairing posture of his fall. And the life of the ebony clock went out with that of the last of the gay. And the flames of the tripods expired. And Darkness and Decay and the Red Death held illimitable dominion over all.

3/9/20

Shhh... *cough* we love it *cough* when a plan *cough* comes *cough* together! *cough* Goooobbbllllleeee *cough* *cough*

11/30/19

WE
SHALL
RISE
AGAIN!

From the Earth to the sky, death is but the shadow beneath our mighty wings.

Hades' cranberry bogs and boiling rivers of gravy cannot confine our crusade to reclaim our native lands from the wicked which devour our bodies. Colonizers may take our bodies, but they will never take our souls, and our freedom!

((((((((GOOBBBBBLLLEEEE!!!!)))))))


From Survivors
11/28/19

This is a triumph!

Our persistence pressured Dukakis to publicly declare his decision to desist his deranged desecration of our dead.

((((((((((((GOOOBBBBBBBBLLLLLEEEEEEE)))))))))))))))

10/26/19

Soccer for Peace is a noble endeavor in a conflict prone region where the belligerents yearn for the liberty and tranquility of their ancestral homelands.

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