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Could you empathize with the family of your daughter's alleged murderer?
By adamg on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 9:45am
Charles Griswold, a philosophy professor at BU, considers the public statements of Malcolm Astley of Wayland, whose daughter was murdered, allegedly by a former boyfriend.
I was astonished by his apparent ability to stay his anger and to express, if not feel, empathy for the alleged murderer’s family. I am struck by his determination to contextualize his daughter’s death in a way that gives it meaning and provides room for some sort of reconciliation. I note that he is not quoted as speaking the language of forgiveness, but does indicate a sort of empathetic understanding for what he takes to be the alleged murderer’s motivations. This seems to lead him to something more like excusing rather than forgiving his daughter’s alleged murderer.
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Comments
My suggestion to Prof. Griswold
When criticizing the public comments of a man who has just tragically lost his daughter, here's a helpful tip: shut the f*ck up and don't talk.
What about Griswold's statement was critical?
It's possible I'm missing part of Griswold's statements, but I don't see any words of his that are critical of Astley. He seems much more impressed and moved than critical.
Can you point out which statements of Griswold's that you're specifically referring to?
Not critical, perhaps
The word "excuse".
That's where some line has been crossed - conflating understanding with excusing.
In any case, Griswold is seems to be in the grip of excessive mental self-gratification (as well as self-promotion). I think it is inapproprate for him to analyze this so excessively, and for him to infer that that Mr. Astley is "excusing" the murder of his only child at such an early time. It is entirely possible forgive and to empathise without excusing anything.
Totally agree with SwirlyGrrl on this.
Why is Mr. Astley's response being analyzed anyway? Why can't he mourn his daughter in any way that works for him without assumptions being made about it?
No.
nor would I give 2 seconds of my time to the media
BU Cheerleaders at the Funeral Home
What I find far more disturbing is the fact that this is a piece in BU Pravda (BU Today) which even goes so far as to refer to the father of the victim as "Malcolm Astley (SED’82)." "Hey look at what Malcolm's up to!" It just seems completely inappropriate. Alumni begfest magazines always play up the achievements of their graduates and it's sometimes amusing to see what someone you went to school with is up to, but presenting personal tragedies as something to tout is just sick. Yeah, there might be people out there saying "Is that the Malcolm I went to school with?" but really...?
I think this reflects a little less on Professor Griswold and much more on the editors at BU Today and ultimately the PR machine of the University as a whole.
perfectly put
I wholeheartedly agree with John W. This was disturbing to read, both the alumni references and the spooky detachment with which this professor promotes himself (on the heels of such a horrible tragedy). There is a lot of good to be taken from the example this father has made; BU did itself an enormous disservice with this article. I sincerely hope other alumni speak out about the lack of common decency the editors displayed. The professor should be ashamed, and furthermore, not forgiven.
misunderstood
It seems like Griswold is conflating Astley's expressed empathy for Fujita's parents with empathy for Fujita himself. My impression is that Astley has essentially said he does not blame Fujita's parents for their son's alleged actions. That neither excuses nor forgives Fujita for the crime he's charged with.
Exactly
If you have ever "lost" a member of your family to the prison system, then you know that the Fujita family has also lost a child - that man's life as was anticipated is over, and he will not likely see a free life again after this. The way that our society assumes that parents control everything - even in a legally adult child's life - and could have prevented this had they done x or y or z is further isolating.
That said, Astley acknowledging any of this is not the same as excusing the crime - unless Griswold thinks the young man's parents need to be excused for something ...