And she'll ride forever 'neath the streets of Malden ...

Bethica reports that all she wanted to do was get home to watch "American Idol," but the doors on her Orange Line car at Malden wouldn't open, trapping her inside with what looked to be refugees from a gang war:

... No one quite knew what to do until a fine young man clad in Rockawear took the initiative. While pressing the "in case of emergency" intercom button on the call box, he uttered this effulgent phrase: "Yo, bitch! We stuck up in hurr! Ima 'bout to start humpin' da doors!" Ah yes, as the conductor, that would be incentive enough for me to rectify the problem. "Just a moment." she said in a most monotone voice. ...