Cranky says that despite some tough competition, Channel 38's 9:30 newscast is the Hoover of local reportage:

... Looks like they just went to Home Depot and loaded up on stuff out of the clearance bin. I think those are metal wall studs sticking out of the anchors heads. Even the widescreen TV that the weather is presented on looks like the weekly loss-leader special at Best Buy.

The news script is just painful to listen to. Sara Underwood, while still somewhat of a babe, is so dumb she makes Maria Stephanos look like a Rhodes Scholar. ...