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Hey, men: Enough already
By adamg on Wed, 12/07/2011 - 8:43am
Hollaback Boston is back, giving women a place to discuss and do something about street harassment (On Facebook, too - the old site still up as well).
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Comments
One person gets mad that
One person gets mad that nobody helps her (All Too Common), another gets mad that somebody offered help (Rehydrate)?
Reading Comprehesion is your friend
All Too Common actually had property stolen from her. That's a crime. But, sure, let's ignore that, even on the internet.
No one offered help, someone
No one offered help, someone offered something, was declined politely and continued to try to force the person to take it. Even the vaguely annoying people handing out flyers don't do that.
Hey women
Talk to any male cyclist about the comments he gets while daring to ride in public while dressed in functional cycling clothing.
Also: nice to see that it's okay to call someone a "faggot" if he calls out "hey ladies".
http://hollabackboston.blogspot.com/
("High school girls strike back ")
This.
A thousand times this. I've gotten spanked out of car windows while riding in spandex.
But at least the author acknowledges the irony of the situation.
Now imagine being a female cyclist
Twice the fun.
The all-time creepiest was when some executive type in an expensive car was tailing me through Winchester and then pulled up and drove alongside while propositioning me in Italian accented English.
Not to mention
Not to mention the horrendous behavior of many straight women in gay bars. Bachelorette parties, in particular. Rude comments are the least of it, there is also grabbing and groping. Whatever happened to "no means no" ?
looks interesting
I hope people post - this looks like it could be a really supportive and helpful site.
Street harassment? I take it
Street harassment? I take it this lady has never been outside the US. Men here would look like gentlemen knights in shining armor compared to the dogish behavior almost everywhere else in the world.
Cop Out
Hey - look over there - see that? Just because you feel threatened and harassed, doesn't mean that matters or (god forbid) that we actually have to behave like respectful adults!
See those pigs? Yeah, we are saints, you loudmouth bitch - and DON'T YOU FORGET IT!
Hey now.
He has a valid point, no need to twist it.
I will say that it's a variable standard. In Costa Rica my Spanish teacher got this gem:
"I wish I were a fried egg, because you're a beautiful piece of meat and I'd love to lie next to you."
I'm all for holla'ing back...
But honestly, most of these incidences seem so...minor. Some guy offering someone water? Wanting to use her cellphone? Oy. And I'm mostly seeing women just venting, not coming up with super-snappy solutions, comebacks, etc. I want a little more sass.
yeah, me too
I took a look, hoping that it would have some concrete suggestions for addressing unwanted attention, but instead it seems like a site to vent. Which has its place I'm sure, but doesn't seem productive.
male perspective
I'm not condoning either, but it seems there is difference between the construction worker in a dumpster calling to a woman on a sidewalk and the guy in the park eyeing people and creepily running up and offering water to any female that makes eye contact for a second or more...
The second guy just might need psychiatric help and the first guy probably needs to learn about lines and limits.
This is a confusing website you women have created.
Female Perspective
If a woman perceives that there is humiliation or implied threat involved in a street interaction, it doesn't matter whether a particular man thinks his actions are okay - even if he doesn't know any better.
If you wouldn't say these things in these ways to your mother or female relatives, why would you say them to anybody on the street? If you want to meet someone, don't yell things at them and get nasty when they don't give you attention ... respectfully say hello and chat them up, and let it go if they don't want to talk to you. The lack of boundaries and respect and demand for response are how women know that such outbursts aren't complements and aren't courtship - disrespectful outbursts are a form of intimidation.
The question: What if their perceptions are incorrect?
Humiliation and intimidating go both ways, for both men (and men, I believe, are the victims of more violent assaults (statically speaking) than woman, but I digress) and women. One should try to realize that the world is full of very nice people along with creepy folks, boorish folks, assorted jerks as well as poor souls who have mental challenges and/or who may be well intentioned but perhaps come off as "creepy" due to lacking certain social skills.
The problem I have with "hollar" movement is that it appears to be a place where pissed off venting anger takes the place of thoughtful analysis. And that, in my opinion, is not productive.
"The problem I have with
"The problem I have with "hollar" movement is that it appears to be a place where pissed off venting anger takes the place of thoughtful analysis. And that, in my opinion, is not productive."
You've just described the entire internet.
Hey sweetie, nice Facebook
Hey sweetie, nice Facebook group!
From the Weekly Dig
Seriously, guys - why does anybody think they have the right to be so rude? If your mama and your daddy didn't raise you right, you can grow up on your own you know.
http://digboston.com/think/2011/12/community-forum...