UPDATE, Wednesday, 10:15 a.m. Normally, this is where we'd drop the alert back down to Green - the sun is out, traffic and the T are (more or less) flowing, etc. But our bombogenesis-loving friends at the National Weather Service say we could get 2-4 inches of fresh snow on Friday, and then some sort of storm on Monday. Coupled with all the snow already on the ground, that won't be fun.
UPDATE, Tuesday, 11 p.m. Still some snow, wind, etc., but the blizzard warning has expired and the travel ban ends at midnight, so we're downgrading to Orange.
UPDATE, Tuesday, 1 p.m. Still snowing? Still snowing. But at least the governor has taken his tie off.
UPDATE, Monday, 12:20 p.m. Governor declares state of emergency; keeps tie on.
UPDATE, Monday, 6:45 a.m. Not much has changed: The NWS Blizzard Warning is just as blizzardy, although they've downgraded the wind-gust potential a tad away from the Cape.
UPDATE, Sunday, 4:15 p.m. The National Weather Service has just issued a Blizzard Warning:
...A CRIPPLING AND POTENTIALLY HISTORIC BLIZZARD TO IMPACT THE AREA MAINLY FROM LATE MONDAY INTO TUESDAY...LINGERING INTO EARLY WEDNESDAY...
OK, so the National Weather Service posted this graphic this morning. They're serious this time! Why are you even reading this? You should be on the way to the store for bread, milk and eggs! Blizzard watch from 7 p.m. Monday until sometime Wednesday!
The French Toast Alert System has been developed in consultation with local and federal emergency officials to help you determine when to panic and rush to the store to buy milk, eggs and bread.
Low: No storm predicted. Harvey Leonard sighs and looks dour on the evening news. Go about your daily business but consider buying second refrigerator for basement, diesel generator. Good time to replenish stocks of maple syrup, cinnamon.
Guarded: Light snow predicted. Subtle grin appears on Harvey Leonard's face. Check car fuel gauge, memorize quickest route to emergency supermarket should conditions change.
Elevated: Moderate, plowable snow predicted. Harvey Leonard openly smiles during report. Empty your trunk to make room for milk, eggs and bread. Clear space in refrigerator and head to store for an extra gallon of milk, a spare dozen eggs and a new loaf of bread.
High: Heavy snow predicted. Harvey Leonard breaks into huge grin, can't keep his hands off the weather map. Proceed at speed limit before snow starts to nearest supermarket to pick up two gallons of milk, a couple dozen eggs and two loaves of bread - per person in household.
Severe: Nor'easter predicted. This is it, people, THE BIG ONE. Harvey Leonard makes repeated references to the Blizzard of '78. RUSH to emergency supermarket NOW for multiple gallons of milk, cartons of eggs and loaves of bread. IGNORE cries of little old lady you've just trampled in mad rush to get last gallon of milk. Place pets in basement for use as emergency food supply if needed.
Busy developer type person? Use the French Toast Alert data set to build those state-of-the-art iPhone apps.
Put the French Toast Alert System on your site! Copy and paste the following where you want the alert to show up. It's 124 pixels wide by 126 pixels high:
Become the alert: Buy an official French Toast Alert T-shirt and run around updating your neighbors:
Toastaphon: Toast image derived from this French Toast sammich photo by Bunchofpants.