Memos to David Ortiz and to Orioles announcers

Beth wraps up last night's game and includes this request to Big Papi:

... Thank you for that tremendous at-bat that broke Cabrera's stalemate with Schilling, broke open the game and possibly even broke Cabrera's spirit. However, we in Red Sox Nation kindly ask that you cease and desist flirting with disaster by sliding like a jumbo jet coming in for a crash landing every time you are on base. ...

Redsock, meanwhile, listens to the game as broadcast by Orioles announcers and wonders why they're spreading lies about Curt Schilling's bloody sock. Sure, it was probably a joke (we know Doug Mirabelli only ever talks to Wakefield), but heresy is heresy.

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    "(we know Doug Mirabelli only ever talks to Wakefield)"

    ...and the Wakefields talk only to God.