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Citizen complaint of the day: People need to stop playing Clue with raccoons
By adamg on Wed, 09/18/2013 - 5:33pm
An unamused citizen reports on the grisly scene on Guild Street in Roxbury:
Raccoon corpse in road. Evidence suggests victim died as result of blunt trauma via bludgeoning with board. Please send medical examiner, photog, latent prints, crime lab team, and person with a shovel.
Complete with a photo of said deceased boarded animal.
City marks case closed, says carcass was picked up. No word on Professor Plum's whereabouts.
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Comments
Quick! Call Dan Conley
He can investigate this at length and add it to the latest Boston (Raccoon) Strangler update we needed to know about.
Col. Mustard with the
Col. Mustard with the candlestick.
That's my theory.
Are we sure
Are we sure it's not just napping in the shade?
Why Waterboarding is preferred
Done correctly, waterboarding isn't as likely to be lethal while still convincing the raccoon not to knock over trash barrels and scatter the contents.