The coffee talks to him

Spatch describes why the Summer Street Dunkin' Donuts is hopeless:

ME: I would like a Turbo Ice Coffee, please.
COUNTERPERSON: Milk and sugar?
ME: Yes.
COUNTERPERSON: Here.
ME: Thank you. Sip, sip, sip.
COFFEE: HELLO I TASTE LIKE BLUEBERRIES
ME: This is disgusting.
COFFEE: TAKE PITY ON MY PATHETIC EXISTENCE, I DID NOT ASK MY CREATOR TO TASTE LIKE BLUEBERRIES
ME: Hello? I'm sorry, I wanted a Turbo Ice, and this tastes like blueberries.
COUNTERPERSON, UNHAPPY THAT HER PEACEFUL REVERIE HAS BEEN BROKEN BY YET ANOTHER CUSTOMER: You wanted blueberry?
ME: No, I don't want blueberry, I wanted a Turbo Ice. The one with the espresso in it.
COUNTERPERSON, WHO HAS EVERY RIGHT TO DOUBT A CUSTOMER'S CONCERN OVER THE BEVERAGE THEY RECEIVED BECAUSE EVERYBODY IN THE HUMAN RACE ARE LIARS WHO EXIST SOLELY TO MAKE YOUR LIFE ANNOYING: Sniff, sniff. There's no blueberry in here. ...