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South End alleys swarming with wild turkeys

Alley Turkey

If you happen to be one of the few and the proud that are able to legally park a vehicle in a public alley in the South End, beware. Of late, a new entry into the neighborhood's urban ecosystem has famously been seen stealthily, if not curiously, gobbling through its idyllic backstreets.

This evening my spouse was exercising her pedestrian rights along her evening commute when she happend to spot a wild turkey casually strolling through the back alley behind our home. Thankfully, she was able to fend off the prehistoric avian beast and even managed to photo-document it in its natural environment.

This is all to say, when you go for your car door--key in hand--make sure to watch for beaks, and wattles.

I will urge my spouse to do her due diligence and report the harrowing encounter to the authorities.

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Fear not what terrors lurk in the darkness of the alleys for we are the light. Seek shelter beneath our mighty wings and we shall keep the Old Ones at bay.

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I mean, it's no coincidence that Lovecraft's Pickman's Model is based in the North End; they have the subterranean rat people up there; we (and more and more neighborhoods) have the dinosaur ground beasts.

I understand they're thinking of introducing primitive mole-people in the T tunnels. I, for one, hail our brave new adversaries.

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Will you do so with Old Bay seasoning?

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I’m all for anything that fux wit yuppies

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