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Citizen complaint of the day: Is that a traffic sign on your pole or are you just glad to see me?

By adamg on Mon, 01/04/2021 - 10:40pm
Big dong

A not offended citizen filed a 311 complaint about "a massive cock," of the rubber sort, suction-cupped to a traffic sign at H and Emerson streets in South Boston this afternoon, along with a photo showing "Happy New Year!" written on one side of the shaft. The filer checked "not offensive" on the complaint form.

Note: The city removed the original complaint from the 311 system, but, of course, nothing on the Internet ever dies; see below for the original complaint.

Neighborhoods: 
South Boston
Topics: 
Driving
Free tagging: 
H Street
Emerson Street
311
AttachmentSize
Image icon If you want to see it ...263.96 KB
Image icon See the original complaint41.81 KB


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Comments

By Friartuck on Mon, 01/04/2021 - 10:42pm.

the Irish curse.

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By Mr02119 on Mon, 01/04/2021 - 10:54pm.

Definitely not a cursed Irishman. Probably black Irish!

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By anon on Tue, 01/05/2021 - 9:32am.

As a proud Irish American from a large family of 7 kids, I can tell you that there are showers and growers in the Irish American community. Either way, the results are effective. The Irish Curse is largely a myth.

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By SwirlyGrrl on Tue, 01/05/2021 - 11:52am.

I think this is more Dirk Diggler, given the skin tone.

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By anon on Tue, 01/05/2021 - 9:57am.

but my endowment is above average.

Then again, I have English, Spanish (great grandfather), and even a Polish Jewish ancestor.

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By MC Slim JB on Tue, 01/05/2021 - 12:20am.

for nothin'.

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By Dawn on Tue, 01/05/2021 - 12:33am.

Ok.... I have to admit, that’s pretty funny.

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By Kaz on Tue, 01/05/2021 - 1:36am.

I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
And my penis was missing again.
This happens all the time.
It's detachable...

https://youtu.be/byDiILrNbM4

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By DotRat4Eva on Tue, 01/05/2021 - 6:25am.

This is not funny

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By ZachAndTired on Tue, 01/05/2021 - 9:12am.

Counterpoint: Yes it is.

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By DotRat4Eva on Tue, 01/05/2021 - 12:34pm.

No. It’s not.

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By Lisfnord on Tue, 01/05/2021 - 12:37pm.

...it is

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By DotRat4Eva on Tue, 01/05/2021 - 12:39pm.

Nah ah.

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By Friartuck on Tue, 01/05/2021 - 12:47pm.

But otherwise it's an A+

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By SwirlyGrrl on Tue, 01/05/2021 - 1:25pm.

This is contradiction!

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By adamg on Tue, 01/05/2021 - 1:37pm.
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By Frelmont on Tue, 10/22/2024 - 8:57pm.

Excellent!

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By ZachAndTired on Tue, 01/05/2021 - 12:44pm.

IMAGE(https://media.giphy.com/media/QU4ewgcmdcsObx9CG7/giphy.gif)

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By anon on Tue, 01/05/2021 - 10:37am.

You're right...it's actually hysterical. I would have laughed so hard (pun intended?) if I had seen that. Probably would have taken a selfie with it.

Before the "WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN" crowd...if you see it w/ your kid you explain what it is - you don't ignore it, rush them away or make it dirty. It's a body part. Let's make America not so sexually repressed.

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By Tim Mc. on Tue, 01/05/2021 - 2:27pm.

"Papa, that sign has a penis!"
"Haha, yep."
"Why?"
"Maybe someone thought it was funny."
"hahahaha"

and then they would get distracted by a squirrel or something.

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By Wiffleball on Tue, 01/05/2021 - 12:06pm.

♫ Penis on a street sign, I know
I know it's serious
Penis on a street sign, I know
I know it's really serious. ♫

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By Parkwayne on Tue, 01/05/2021 - 1:30pm.

I would rather not go
Back down to Southie
I would rather not go
Back down to Southie
There's too many big dildos
Too many dildos there

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By East side Chuck on Tue, 01/05/2021 - 8:06am.

Seems silly to file a 311 complaint and ask the city to schedule a maintenance worker to take care of this. This person wasted more time taking a picture than if they had just grabbed a stick, knocked the dang thing down, and threw it in the trash barrel. This is YOUR neighborhood! Have some pride and take care of this stuff on your own and we will all have a nicer city to live in.

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By adamg on Tue, 01/05/2021 - 9:20am.

You don't know where that thing's been.

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By OH on Tue, 01/05/2021 - 10:57am.

Oh I think we do know where it's been.

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By Jonathan on Tue, 01/05/2021 - 9:40am.

Lighten up Francis!

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By Tim Mc. on Tue, 01/05/2021 - 10:11am.

and the maintenance worker wouldn't have a funny story to tell (to say nothing of missing out on a great hood ornament.)

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By Make Boston Buses Free on Tue, 01/05/2021 - 11:05am.

Sometimes in life, someone take the silly route and we're all richer for it.

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By Friartuck on Tue, 01/05/2021 - 2:29pm.

Leave it to the professionals.

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By Tim Mc. on Tue, 01/05/2021 - 2:51pm.

You could even handle it with bare hands as long as you washed your hands well afterwards.

They're not, like... sharp or anything.

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By Friartuck on Tue, 01/05/2021 - 4:33pm.

Vaginal discharge, fecal matter, semen, blood...

It's like holding a strap on the MBTA minus the snot...

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By eeka on Tue, 01/05/2021 - 7:00pm.

But I ride the MBTA all the time and have yet to encounter anyone holding a strapon.

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By Tim Mc. on Tue, 01/05/2021 - 7:35pm.

but it's not like you need a professional to deal with it.

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By Lmo on Tue, 01/05/2021 - 8:27pm.

The ppl who show up from public works “I’m not fucking touching that thing”

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By SamWack on Tue, 01/05/2021 - 8:15am.

The rubber appendage seems to be violating the directive of the sign to which it is attached.

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By adamg on Tue, 01/05/2021 - 9:22am.

Peyronie's Disease can be painful, I've heard.

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By StillFromDorchester on Tue, 01/05/2021 - 9:04am.

Impressive, but not massive. :)

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By Scratchie on Tue, 01/05/2021 - 1:46pm.

Not art.

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By SwirlyGrrl on Wed, 01/06/2021 - 1:34pm.

Oooh. Now that's a proud boy!

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By anon on Tue, 01/05/2021 - 2:39pm.

I clicked on the link to the report to see if it had been resolved. Status is "Report not available"

I hope someone saved a screenshot.

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By adamg on Tue, 01/05/2021 - 3:23pm.

It's now attached to the original post above as "original complaint."

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By adamg on Tue, 01/05/2021 - 3:21pm.

Looks like the city's taken down the 311 complaint about the rubber item.

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By Bob Leponge on Tue, 01/05/2021 - 9:35pm.

Only items made here using locally sourced materials are properly covered by that term. Otherwise it's properly termed a generic "phalloid sex toy"

IMAGE(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/f2/DildoNewfoundland.jpg)

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By jmeltzer on Wed, 01/06/2021 - 1:21am.

the yard sale.

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By MC Slim JB on Wed, 01/06/2021 - 9:34am.

outside the Dildo Appellation d’Origine Contrôlée is "sparkling marital aids."

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By SwirlyGrrl on Wed, 01/06/2021 - 1:35pm.

"Sparking self-care items".

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By BannedFromTheRoxy on Tue, 01/05/2021 - 9:42pm.

Universal Chub

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By MissDee on Wed, 01/06/2021 - 12:16pm.

I needed my laugh for the day.

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